Saturday, September 17, 2011
Micro-ethnographic study
In class one day we were told to observe/do a study someone on belmont's campus, in order to help prepare us for our projects. I observed the interactions that took place in the area right outside of the beaman. I observed many things. I felt like I should have observed there because I feel like it is the central meeting spot on campus. Thus, it would make sence for me to do my observations there. Much of what I observed were people walking in groups to and fro to class. I didn't witness anything incessantly disturbing, other than some males trying to pull off a sleeveless t-shirt. There were not many people walking by themselves. Many people always had one other person with them, which is interesting. I think that many people, especially freshman, do not like walking by themselves because of the fear what people will think of them.
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You use a few odd words here and there ("to and fro," "incessantly disturbing," "males," "because of the fear what people..."), but overall the writing is clear and simple. You could avoid using a few less words in some of your sentences, for example:
ReplyDelete"In class one day we were told to observe/do a study someone on belmont's campus, in order to help prepare us for our projects"
could be
"In order to prepare for our projects, we observed somewhere on Belmont's campus."
or something similar.
Also, some of your sentences are a bit short and choppy. Try combining sentences that are trying to convey the same information, or just delete one of them. A good comma here and there can improve the flow of your writing.